How I learn to stop worrying and start loving Taiwan Long Juan Feng

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As the Taiwan Tornado departs from our shores on 19th Jan 2011; I would thought it is fitting to actually blog about this insanely over the top Taiwanese Soap Opera why I love watching this shit.

  1. Lin Anna – crazy bitch who kept scheming on every evil plan to be the #1 in the Huang family only to have every scheme blow up in her face. She’s kinda like Wile E Coyote only pretty (not in this show, but in Ai!)images
  2. Huang Zhizhong – The Human Spanish Fly who can get almost every woman’s panties wet by simply grinning his stupid idiot grin. So charming he turned a lesbian straight. This bugger is also faultless.  Raped a woman one day, only to have her fall in love with him weeks later.
  3. YuanZhilong -Zhizhong’s half brother, who was gay one day, straight and devoted lover the next, always filial to his chio mum. Always scheming.
  4. speaking of Zhilong, the mofo killed his own stepdad, yet all is forgiven and forgotten much later on.
  5. Nobody gets laid unless… they get drug-raped/gangraped, were fucked cos the other fella was eyeing on his/her money or has their anus raped by prisoners. Tossed Salad is a popular dish even when you’re in a detention cell.
  6. A guy can get shot at point blank range for 10 over shots, only to come out unharmed. (Huang Pingqiu)
  7. However, one can get unceremoniously dumped outta the show too as Zhihan, sister of Zhizhong was in the show one day, and the next, simply died in a plane crash…over the Grand Canyon.  Biggest contribution to the sub-plots : repeatedly falling in love with the same guy over and over again…even after his dick got snipped off.
  8. A-De, a ruffian who suddenly had a new wardrobe the moment he became the love interest of a rich daughter…whom was kidnapped by him.  Stockholm syndrome, this show is deep man.
  9. Too much love will kill ya – Everybody who raped will get AIDS.  And the window period is…. 1 day.
  10. Surprisingly nobody I know who speaks Hokkien can tell me what the Hell does “Hiong Jit Buay” (the chrous) means.

I dun think I’ll even get a chance to miss the actors literally the whole cast will be back in some other show which starts airing on Thursday!

2 comments

  1. I love 6). Is this the “safe” version of a Better Tomorrow Zwei? There was also that time the pregnant wife bought the farm, if you want crass shootings. As for teh AIDS, HAW HAW HAW is my reaction when I read the spoilers months ago. I tend to think the first time I experienced something akin to a Sanli Ah Beng soap opera is when I watched the HK drama The Greed of Man all those umpteen years ago, but the Taiwanese stuff is far more cartoonish, buffoonish and the faux gangsters waft from situation to situation smelling like roses and rolling in the dough. So I guess it’s Scarface without the cocaine, with lamer plot payoffs?

    P.S:Isn’t Hiong Jit Buay like drink a toast? Admittedly, my dialects are horrible.

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