Category: News

And I Feel Fine

Geological stability sure is a bitch, ain’t it? And now we’ve gotten that out of the way, to the more important things we go:

"Don't worry, we've got a few millenia worth of practice..."
“Don’t worry, we’ve got a few millenia worth of practice…”

Hmm, I’ve got a few myself here if they need any…

“I think it’s patently clear that the Doctor has once again saved the entire world, this time from the insidious alien menace known as The Rapture.”

“There will be no Rapture until Duke Nukem Forever is released.”

“Our souls WERE raptured! That means we’re all zombies right now!” *Then Magia starts to play*

“He was pleased with the blow-up dolls and decided to spare us.”

“The Quakinator was past its warranty date and he has to bring it back to the factory in Andromeda.”

“Obama stopped the antigrav beams with his nigger powers!”

“Obama casts Planar Seal”

“God only has 56k of bandwidth, you insensitive clods! Gonna take a while to transfer 10^22 bytes.”

But wait…..what do we have here?

That's one lava font that's staying on message

Grimsvotn:I took Midas Money from some dude named Camping, SO?

A few nervous moments there….but look, up in the sky!

OHHHHH YEEEAAAAAH FEEL THE DROP
NOT ON MY WATCH, J-DUDE!

BONESAW DIED FOR US, PRAISE BE HIS NAME AND MAY HE SUP WELL WITH KAMINA IN VALHALLA.

EDIT:Wait, WUT? Why didn’t anyone tell me Satirewire is active again? Brilliant weekend.

What we learnt from a historical election

  1. WP should call the shots in the opposition now, because it’s clear they’re the only ones that can push the PAP into the 50+ percentiles consistently. They also fulfilled their strategic objective of capturing a GRC, so assuming they can hold it in the next election, that’s the thin end of the wedge for the forthcoming two-party system. As much as I want a strong third party and seeing how ossified the cozy 2 party structure in the US and Britain have become (granted, those are ACTUAL mature democracies, so rot has set in after so much time), Singapore is simply too small to support more than 2 parties of significant size.
  2. I don’t know what is it with my Teochew demographic, but I find it hilarious we’re the bastion of Singaporean opposition these days and simply refuse to be dislodged. Ah well, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, quite the contrary.
  3. I hope someone wasn’t pulling my rock-hard leg when he said an East Coast MP had mentioned on the record during a post-election interview that George Yeo should be president. Even by the PAP’s usual obliviousness to reality, they shouldn’t be stupid enough to hand priceless political hay over to the opposition (and if I was running things in the white camp, that person would never advance further in politics again). It’s also against the normal SOP of the party, as it usually discards fallen politicians like worthless scrap without fail. NO TIME FOR LOSERS eh, Harry?
  4. Seriously Mediacorp? How Pravda-ish can you get? Granted, I only observed the Channel 8 coverage, but there was barely anything spoken on Aljunied all night as they could possibly get away with, and then some up until the actual result. Then they covered Low’s victory speech but subsequently drowned us with the usual drivel from the PAP’s successfully elected new candidates. That’s as eyerolling as it gets, but OF COURSE they then had to reserve the Potong Pasir loss right to the very end to spike the WP victory narrative. Local media, as predictable as it gets. It’s a pity we’re so insignificant in the grand scheme of things, because our elections badly require some third party coverage. Maybe by a respectable network such as Al Jazeera….oh wait, dumped out of SG because CNA would wither before any actual competition. Me bad.
  5. Badly grimacing Dragon Prince is like balm on my black heart.
  6. The Chiam era is over. The writing was on the wall though, since he barely held on last time round and is now weakened post-stroke. Even his last sympathy visit to his old haunting grounds this week failed to have much significant effect. It probably WAS over when the SDP fiasco occured, since that robbed him of his old power base and forced him to start all over again, and unlike many of his opposition peers, he just isn’t that great at the most crucial aspect of being an opposition lynchpin now, recruitment of the ranks. I guess it’s poignant that on the day that the opposition made electoral history, the curtain should fall on a fixture of the old order.
  7. Oh dear, Mr Nett Happiness. Things didn’t turn out too well for a SM tonight eh? A pity Tin made it in, but I suspect Goh won’t have to worry much about a power base anymore in his party, assuming he still had a significant one before Sat. He did win though, so that is still a nett plus in the happy column, right? Consider the alternative of drowning sorrows together with a former foreign affairs minister.