Klan King Kenny Dalglish delivered this stunning piece of reasoning last week in his usual amiable interview(s) before the Swansea game:

“Also financially, the figures that are bandied about, to me, don’t match up with the balance sheet that came out a couple of weeks ago. It said in July 2011 that there was a £40m deficit in transfers but since then we have sold £17m worth of players. Raul [Meireles] went for £12m and David Ngog went to Bolton for £5m. To me that brings it down to £23m, so that’s not a bad spend is it? That must be official figures. It is the balance sheet. I don’t think it’s too bad.”

Did someone break it gently to the imbecile you’re supposed to look at BOTH columns of a ledger? Did Torres spring forth from the Pool academy system like a Scouse Minerva from the thick skull of the halfwit ZZZeus? Or did they pay five farthings for his services to Atletico? Maybe they’re preparing their own net spend statement in support right now. With such an insane figurehead, no wonder the RAWK brigade is such a lovable lot.

Ah hindsight, that most MAGIKAL of things:

“We have the ability and I think Liverpool certainly should be aiming to finish among the Champions League places. Then there is always that dream, a little dream, about actually winning the Premier League.

“Maybe not playing in the Europa League this year will really help us. We will be able to focus on the league and on getting as high up the table as possible.”

It was a most satisfying year in the English Kit Deal Premier League though. As well as the But We Hit a Lot of Woodwork! League.

Downing’s ex is going to dress as a fullback to prevent her from being beaten.

He’s apparently assisting Police, his first of the season

He smashed her over the bar.

Don’t make Downing cross. It never ends well.

At least they’re not Santorum jokes, tsk tsk.