Hitler Reacts to Cesc's Transfer
Quick, fall back to the CL bunker before we can’t afford one!
The Führer is Führious
Category: Sports
Pic of the Day
Professor in Trollogy
A lot of ridicule has been heaped on Arsene Wenger’s interview on Friday before the weekend matches began. Words used include “naive”, “ostrich in sand”, “deluded”, “senile” and so forth. I merely skimmed through some of the reports online, but I seemed to have missed something yesterday. And man, it’s AWESOME (at least in my book):
“We have specialised people to work everywhere. Everybody looks for centre-backs in the whole world. People with unlimited resources look for a centre-back.
“We are not in a supermarket where you go to a shelf and you ask ‘Where are the centre-backs or the strikers?’â€
That is so something Jose Mourinho would say if he wants to send the press dogs barking. Remember this?
“It’s all about omelettes and eggs…No eggs, no omelette. And it depends on the quality of the eggs….In the supermarket, you have eggs class one, class two, class three. Some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there you have a problem.”
At least, Arsenal fans better hope that’s what’s happening. Because the alternative could be much, much worse.
AUSPICIOUS OPENER
“DIOUFY? WHERE ART THOU?”
WEST HAM 0 CARDIFF CITY 1 (MILLER 91″) Hilarious mugging and Big Sam in a great hot funk, what more do you want from your football?
Mmm, when managers speak of hunger in footballers, could they be referring to this?
Blackburn Rovers Venkys advert!
One thing you learn keeping an eye on both news and The Onion, parody is finding it increasingly hard to keep up with reality these days. This…THIS….is a good example. After all the chicken jokes, you try this for real, Venky’s? Seriously? David Dunn also looks like he could shed a few pounds, so a half-time poultry orgy doesn’t help in the slightest.
Maybe Samba is worried about possible racist clichés too, hence the desire to leave for certain North London clubs we shall omit to name. Good thing the tea lady wasn’t at the door with a plate of watermelon slices to wash it down.
Football Bits and Pieces
This made me chuckle:
“Many times in the last few years, the boss has talked up his youth project by saying that, by bringing in players from a young age and educating them at Arsenal, they develop an identity with the club and are less likely to want to leave.
Like so many of Wenger’s bright ideas in the last few years, this has FAILED..”
Pretty much the ONLY way these days to have some kind of institutional loyalty for footballers is for a cadre of youth academy players to rise up to the first team together (or at least within a constrained period of time like say…3-5 years), and even that is a long shot at best now. I don’t need to really emphasize how difficult for just ONE academy product in the PL to break into the first team, having to compete with tons of foreign intakes that their cash-rich clubs keep bringing in. Even in an anomalous environment like Arsenal, buying young players wholesale from a foreign one doesn’t cut it in the slightest. They’re not old footballers comfortable in their last mile surroundings nor out-of-fashion mid-career players grateful for a second chance. Young footballers uproot themselves only either for trophies or to use the club as a stepping stone. It’s amazing Wenger is still so blinkered in 2011.
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I also see FIFA, now that it’s put that pesky charade of an election to rest, is back to business as usual, leeching money out of the game. Predictably all the big clubs are not amused. It’ll be interesting how far a drunk-on-hubris Blatter is going to keep pushing FIFA down this headbutting road with regards to the other footballing powers.
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And now for the bomber:
I’m sorry, this just reinforces my (already) low, low opinion of football fans in general. It’s just so ridiculously infantile that you think it’s from the Onion, but it isn’t. This all just reminds me of some Newcastle fans claiming that the bare-bellied, fat Toon fans screaming for such figures such as King Kev and Shearer to come and reclaim their club in the past aren’t representative of the fanbase and it’s only the distorted coverage of media outlets such as Skysports that makes it appears to be, but it doesn’t really matter when the supposedly “sane” fans don’t really find call out those in their ranks who are utter nitwits.
As a general rule football fans tend to close ranks when threatened, and the most extreme example in football sports has to be the Pool fanbase, which is incredibly homogeneous in thought. All you need to wander into places such as RAWK to see the circle-jerking and echo chamber effect in its full glory. The league title issue is a massive stick in the craw for them, and the incredible bitterness and toys-out-of-pram behaviour is really a sight to behold. You might think the shirt is a parody or a troll item, but Poe’s Law applies as always.
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Martin Palermo retires for Boca Juniors and it’s an emotional sendoff for h……WAIT A MINUTE
WTH, Mr Palermo? Are you sure that’s an occasion where fans and club pay tribute to you and not a frat hazing ritual?
“This court finds you guilty of foul play”
No, just no, “Scholesy”. If you had pulled that defence ten years ago, it MIGHT have carried some water. But at the close of a career, as a post-mortem, one thing is clear. You’re either what everyone accuses you of, or you just didn’t give a shit enough to improve your game enough so that the tag doesn’t apply to you. Attempting tackles (often!) that have no academic difference from that launched by a cynical tackler means you ARE a cynical tackler to everyone else in the world. I would suggest if you didn’t play for Manyoo, IF you weren’t coddled by Fergie, IF English referees and fans didn’t laugh off the most astonishing challenges with the ever-present “Oh, it’s only Scholesy…”, you would find playing for a league bottom-half club with that mentality and behaviour a rude shock. Enough to, say, get you carded straight into Division 2.
Trying the “but I didn’t shear off anyone’s leg” tactic doesn’t work either, the only reason it didn’t happen is just the law of averages. A player in a small club doing the same stuff will do it more often, since the side will generally be under siege by bigger and better teams. Hence, there’s no reason why Scholes won’t do a Shawcross or Taylor if he was forced to ply his trade elsewhere than Manyoo. Working on that side of the game isn’t a waste of time, ESPECIALLY if you keep doing risky tackles as a force of habit. Manyoo would actually benefit from a player that didn’t have zero competence in defence and had to be paired with a water carrier in Keane, Hargreaves, Carrick, Anderson, Fletcher et al, reducing the tactical flexibility of the team. I hate to say it, but now that all their careers are winding down, it’s sad to see the Neviller being the most sensible of Fergie’s bumper crop (besides that pesky problem of trolling Pool).
Oh, since we’re on the subject of repelling footballing objects….this made for unintentional comedy too.
So let us talk about THAT game…..
See, this is what happens what you don’t use the unstoppable attacking colossus that is Le Fletcheré.
On a more serious note…where the hell do we begin? I guess it’s easiest point by point.
- The biggest question has to be: WHY MR BEETROOT? Back in 2009 Manyoo had Giggs and Carrick in CM and it manifestly didn’t work. So why did Ferguson persist with it yet again? That old adage about repeating things and expecting different results apply. I don’t think the old man is insane (possibly senile, but that might be my schadenfreude side talking). Yet how else would you describle trying to match Barca’s midfield triangle with only 2 men, neither of which are particularly equipped with in-your-face defending skills or are particularly mobile. Which leads us to…
- …Giggs. Fergie, whether out of foolish sentiment or appreciation for his Indian summer antics, decided to field him yet again in the middle. Now, clearly SAF isn’t completely barmy, as he didn’t use Scholes in the starting lineup. So he does has some appreciation that his favorite sons have faded to some degree. Still, as good a season as Giggs had, none of it really hinged on him having the kind of fresh legs that is essential in this particular match. If Giggs was actually capable of seizing initiative when matched against a superior technical side, Manyoo would not have won only 5 away league matches this season. A constant remark by watchers this season is the staggering ease even relegation sides willing to take the battle to Manyoo have waltzed through their midfield like it wasn’t there. Giggs simply no longer has the stamina to chase the ball when Manyoo don’t have at least on-par possession figures, which is simply not going to happen to ANY team playing Barcelona, home, away or Wembley. He’s an attacking player that’s a luxury Manyoo could ill afford yesterday.
- Since Giggs is out, logically that leaves Carrick. Now, as much flak as he’s gotten for the first half of the season, he was still their best midfielder yesterday. The situation was made completely hopeless for him though when you see Xavi,Messi and Iniesta just triangulating around him with complete impunity. His job was simply impossible unless he had at least one dedicated DM working in tandem who is willing and able to chase the ball.
- Thus, I fail to see what is the damn point of having both Anderson and Fletcher on the bench if they’re not being used. Unless the whole gameplan was to use them to close out the game for the last 10-15min by taking off Hernandez once Manyoo were ahead (a wishful thinking scenario if ever there was one), that’s essentially two productive slots wasted for no good reason. Both were clearly not completely match-fit, but could easily have been used for at least 45min since they were on the bench, so a partnership with Carrick has to be considered if Manyoo wanted to win yesterday. Mourinho has had the best success against Barca for the last 4-5 years, and his Inter side used THREE CMs just to screen the space in front of his defence, so he clearly understands the magnitude of the task.
- Park and Valencia, in a purely defensive sense when they were off the ball, were very disappointing. They clearly were under instructions to tuck in to bolster Carrick and Giggs, but it wasn’t a blanket order. Park was still trying to shadow Alves but it was completely impossible to do both at the same time effectively. Many Manyoo fans are aware that Park is more a player that applies liberal zonal pressure than an effective man-marker, since he doesn’t track runs very well. The only way his skills can be properly used against Barca is either as part of a wide three in a 4-2-3-1 or as a CM that patrols the space Busquets operates in. Since Alves more or less was left unchecked, Rooney’s inability to deal with Busquets meant that Barca were able to push Manyoo back after that 10 min of pressure exerted by Manyoo and had all the passing options they needed.
- Valencia was on the suggested starting lineup offered by footballing fans, because at the very least many thought Manyoo couldn’t accomodate both him and Nani and since Valencia was more defensively sound…. Hindsight being 20/20, Valencia had an effing terrible game and could possibly be the worst MF of the night if Giggs wasn’t so anonymous. The point of playing him and not one of the twins is his crossing ability, but what few crosses he did were abyssmal. He also clearly was too much on the edge and could easily have been sent off for his repeated fouls on Messi. Like Hernandez, he simply was too dependent on normal service to his feet in an abnormal game. In retrospect starting Nani would have been better, because at least a natural dribbler has more hope of creating space for himself and his team than Valencia could when he got the ball.
- Much hay was made on what Fergie would do with his strikers. We have the answer yesterday and it wasn’t pretty. By choosing Hernandez up front he deprived his MF of an extra man, basically making it impossible to fight for the ball and hence, most crucially, depriving the Peameister of his usual service. He’s clearly uncomfortable with the Darren Bent kind of role even considering his pace, and it wasn’t helped by Barca’s very clinical use of the offside trap. There may even be additional fallout, because Fergie chose to put Owen, Anderson and Fletcher on the bench and leave Berbatov completely out, which makes the summer transfer window very stormy potentially. In the interest of squad politics Berbatov (as their leading scorer, if only in goals, not impact) should have been given a token appearance, especially since all of the other three mentioned were criminally underused. Owen should never have been there and Hernandez should have taken up his impact sub role.
- Some fans have taken solace that Rooney was supposedly their best player of the night because he beat Busquets in 50/50s when Manyoo went on the offence the few occasions that they could. I couldn’t disagree more, he was possibly their most culpable player since his MAIN role (and the crucial one) was to stop Barca at its source by denying Busquets in the intermeditary zone in front of the defence. It’s debatable whether he even seriously attempted to, especially in the 2nd half. The bollocking Fergie gave him could have been due to this. In any case, his temperament is very suspect in the match, because he was very ill-discplined positionally and went looking for the ball in offence while neglecting basic duties. Even when Busquets had trouble finding an outlet now and then, the failure of Carrick and Giggs meant that Xavi could always drop deeper and pick up the slack, making the whole plan an exercise in futility.
- Vidic was evidently their best player of the night, even excusing his immobility at points for the goals. It’s pretty understandable when it happens, because he’s not the first of the “statuaries” Messi has created in his remarkable career. The man is so complete in his number nine role that he never gives a clear impression when he will pass or take on defenders for the space to shoot. (An amusing parallel with Torres being Vidic’s nemesis for that one season of form can be found.) Without Vidic’s defending (Rio was average at best), they could easily have conceded twice as many.
- Little needs to be said about Barcelona besides the usual superlatives. To be fair they’ve not really played at their peak for at least three months now and even given their rest due to winning the league early (as seen in a revitalized David Villa), what bested Manyoo was simply a side playing at 70% but using basically the same routine. It was more than enough to give a stunning footballing lesson to the supposed best side in England, which tells us just how poor Manyoo were in a tactical and technical sense.
- People have made note of the curious fact that Barca have suddenly adopted a willingness to take mid-range shots. Even more telling, they were pretty accurate shots too. If the team is flexible enough to now do so outside the box given the massed defence tactics more and more sides are using against them, it could be very ominious news for the opposition in the future.
TO THE VICTORS GOES THE SPOILS
AS THE CURTAINS DRAW TO A CLOSE
They be trollin’
Barcelona are using Arsenal’s training grounds this week, so it should make for more hilarity. Doubly so if they lose today.
(Football) Pic of the Day
