It has always been said that the Golden Globes are literally just an excuse for the Hollywood Foreign Press throwing a star-studded lavish 4 hour party for Hollywood bigwigs to pat each other on the back.

Well, somebody sure didn’t remember to tell that to this year’s host, Ricky Gervais.

The visibly slimmer acid-tongued  has lost none of his sting.  Insulting presenters and Hollywood in general. The man was on fire.  Sadly, most of the stars forgot to remove the stick wedged up their arses, and even starts rebutting at the host (which I must say is a first for me).

My big surprise was after Robert Downey Jr’s comeback at Ricky’s funny intro, he went on to suggest the nominees shoulda slept with him.  So, I suppose making cracks at screwing an actress is OK, but being teased about your past convictions are a no-no?

I dunno.. but RDJ has always been a charming bastard and manages to pull off the risque little speech well.

On the whole, I thought Ricky managed to do the impossible.

He made the Golden Globes fun.

Thank God for Ricky, even if he doesn’t believe in one.

====================================================

Interesting notes :

Why is Mark Zuckerberg suddenly being revered whenever “The Social Network” wins anything? Did MZ threaten to remove their Facebook accounts or something?

Is Christian Bale channeling Johnny Depp or was he trying to look like Jesus?

Holy Jesus, Batman!!

Ain’t it great to see Trent Reznor win for Best Score? It’s so hip and non-conventional, and best of all, it already got dumped by the Academy (Oscars) cos it’s not ‘original enough’

Speaking of the Social Network… DAVID FINCHER. BEST DIRECTOR. WOOHOO!!

Why does a blonde Emma Stone look more like Lindsay Lohan than Gwen Stacy?

Lindsay? Is that you?

But last but not least. January Jones, the hands-down winner for Miss Golden Globes 2011.

yum

Never known for my smarts… I decided to play a drinking game (Macallan 18 years, *thumbs up*) while catching up on my Mad Men.

Me:  Seated and ready with drink in hand (old fashion 😛 )

[Scene] Roger Sterling came in, pours himself a half cup of whisky

Me : raising my glass to toast to my newfound hero

[Scene] Roger gulps it down in one shot.

Me : My left hand is still raised in salute.

3 seconds.

Maybe lesser.

I’ll probably change the rule to drinking whenever Jane does something like this :

Jane plus pencil equals jizz in my pants

lucky pencil

2009051019232459

I am not embarrassed to admit this, but most people who knows me were shocked (or disgusted) when I told them I follow “Taiwan Long Juan Feng” almost every night when I can. But even a show as crazy as that begins to bore me after the same shit happens for the umpteenth time.

So recently, I started watching the critically acclaimed “Mad Men”.

You know, the show where:

  • Every male character wears a suit;
  • Everybody drinks excessively like it’s going out of fashion;
  • Every characters have random sex with everyone else;
  • The one where every woman has the hots for the lead actor…

Hmm… guess these two shows have more in common than I thought.

Kinda makes you wonder if there’s a Jon Hamm/Christina Hendricks concert around the corner.

Has anyone ever noticed that there was an error in the sequence of Sylvester Stallone’s Rambo franchise?

John Rambo first appeared in 1982 in “First Blood”;

A 1985 sequel was made,  titled “Rambo : First Blood Part II”

So, why the heck was the 1988 sequel after that named “Rambo III” instead of “First Blood Part III”  ???

To make things more bizzare… 20 years on, Stallone returned to make a ‘prequel’ to Rambo III, titling the fourth installment… RAMBO. (which technically mean it is RAMBO 1?)

So, the question is… if they do make a FIFTH movie,  should it be titled RAMBO II , or First Blood Part III?

As Alice would say, “Curiouser and Curiouser.”

redbelt_xlg

4.5 stars outta 5

“A fight is not won by one punch or kick. Either learn to endure or hire a bodyguard.”

– Bruce Lee

In my previous review of “Ip Man” I mentioned that I felt strangely dissatisfied with the movie’s lack of wushu spirit in its theme and for the weirdest reason, I just couldn’t let the flaw of the movie go while half wanting to recommend it.

I needed a closure; and what better way do this than watching yet another martial arts movie.

Yet,to call Redbelt “another martial arts movie”, is like saying The Dark Knight was merely another comic book movie. A bold claim, yes. But not entirely unjustified.

The latest movie from David Mamet shows us the fight that most of its peers does not offer enough of: The struggle within.

Chiwetel Ejiofor (quite a mouthful, eh?) plays Mike Terry, a jiujitsu instructor who explains that he doesn’t teach people to fight, but to prevail.  An interesting comment, since his dojo is not making money, has a shattered glass from an incident that may lead to his one of …two(?) students going to jail, he’s unable to pay his rent and to top this off, his wife ends up borrowing money from a loan shark for a bust business deal that she could never pay off.

It sure is a good thing that Mike’s brother in law happens to be running an ‘Ultimate Fighting Champion-ish’ tournament. And with a $40,000 top prize carrot dangling in front of a desperate man, could this finally be the straw to break the camel’s back ?  Does every man, even a honourable one like Mike, truly have a price?

I have but merely scratched Redbelt’s surface in its intricate plot lines, a wonderful character piece case study on the theme of honour, a subject matter sorely missing in many martial arts movies; and to see it  on an American movie actually makes it even more remarkable to me.

Now, the movie does have its flaws.  The overly macho dialogue sounds like they belong to another world (Who talks like that in real life!?!) the fact that everything piece of the puzzle falls oh so neatly into place in the film.  But I am more than willing to ignore this shortcomings because I have simply enjoyed the ride that Mamet is bringing me.

Of course, it would be ridiculous of me to expect all martial arts movies to suddenly stop fighting and to start preaching, what would be the fun in that?

But, dear reader, hear me out.  In today’s world where money seem to be the most important thing, it heartens me to think that old fashioned values like honour and respect still means something to somebody, even he is a work of fiction.

THAT should be the spirit of wushu, of martial arts, and for better or worse, for our lives.

07459091

3 out of 5 stars

I left the cinema with a strange feeling of dissatisfaction after watching Ip Man, Donnie Yen’s latest kung fu flick.

The film talks about the life (and brief) times of the title character, a practitioner of Wing Chun Martial Arts whom was considered the most highly skilled martial artist whose disciples would include the legendary Bruce Lee.

The movie, if you excuse the cheesy pun, literally packs a punch. Donnie Yen portrays Ip Man as a modest family man who is always ready to offer a helping hand but would never asks for any in return. The opening fight scene between Ip and a fellow master is a masterpiece showcase in this genre. The viewer has no doubt that the challenger is out to probably humiliate Ip, but instead, he was offered hospitality by Ip. And strangely, this increases my curiosity of how good Ip really is. And the fight does not disappoint. While most fighting movies aims for the absurdity these days, the opening fight scene demonstrates how control and discipline can be even more impressive. Ip whom easily outmatched his opponent could have easily beaten him to a pulp not only held back most of his punches; he modestly thanks the opponent for doing the same afterwards.

It was at this time, when my friend turned and told me “I love this movie!” I eagerly concur, but once again I spoke too soon.

The second to third act of this movie unfortunately derailed from the intial set up. The Japanese invasion came along and all in Fo Shan goes to hell. And all these eventually led to a series of ‘misunderstandings’ which results in some meaningless over the top fight scenes which turned Ip turn from the humble kungfu master into a one man Mortal Kombat-ish fighting machine. All these of course are an overly elaborate lead to the final showdown between Ip and the Japanese General Miura, whom surprise surprise, happens to be a highly skilled kung fu Master in his own right.

Oddly enough, I was more than ready to ‘forgive’ all that went wrong with the movie if this last fight was played out … respectfully. And I humbly offer my thoughts on what totally went wrong with the third act.

The scene that personally I feel could have saved the movie was when General Miura came in to offer Ip a meal on the night before the big fight; a mirror of the opening scene of the show don’t you think? I would rather have Miura and Ip use the scene to state their respect for each other’s skills in Martial arts and I would imagine that the two are opposite sides of the same coin entwined in the middle of WW2. But alas, Ip sprouted some speech on Jap bashing, and later on, bashed up the Japanese General. *YAWN!*

You probably think I’ve put too much thought into a simple kungfu movie, but what I’m trying to say is what should have been a great film on the spirit of wushu, ends up as another generic chop-socky flick, and to that, I lament.

I was just channel surfing this evening while waiting for “Sportscenter” to start at 10pm when I chanced upon “Honour and Passion” on Channel 8.  And for the next 20 minutes or so, I was simply engrossed with the MediaCorp Drama series.

You see, in that short span of time, I felt I have seen two interesting romantic scenarios which urges me to address it in this entry.

Love Crime A

huifang

Rui En learns that her dad (Huang Wenyong) has been recently smitten by a young (and hot) lady friend in the form of Ong Ai Leng, recently.  Since their meeting, Mr Lucky SOB has outright rejected the affections of a long-time family friend (Hong Huifang) whom through the years have been played the role of a surrogate mother to Wenyong’s children.

My Verdict :

Aww… ain’t that a shame? While Hong Huifang herself once played the role of the tramp back in her hey days of ‘Samsui Woman” (which was what, 1985?) You can’t blame Wenyong’s heartless decision. I mean, look at the pictures I posted !!! Have you seen Ong Ai Leng? Seriously! This is a no-brainer. There is simply no way in God’s green Earth would you find a red blooded man who would do otherwise.  I don’t even care if she’s a scheming bitch who’s eyeing on his CPF money, from what I see, no amount of SAF money can buy a man such good luck.  Whats the chances of a bloke of his age and looks scoring with a woman like Ai Leng?

Redcon One* to the Encik Huang.

(Army talk for Grade A)

Love Crime B

Mr Commando, Tay Ping Hui learns that the woman of his dreams, Artillery Captain Felicia Chin only has eyes for his own baby brother played by Bryan Wong. Like all love-triangles, Bryan of course, has no interest in Felicia (or he probably don’t dare to incur the wrath of his red beret and probably half-insane elder brother).

Later on, the lovestruck dumbass commando has really performed the ultimate gut-wrenching love-kamikaze.   After learning about Felicia’s birthday lunch/dinner date with Bryan, Ping Hui managed to secretly arranged a pair of singing Indian waiters to bring out a cake plus a present (a Tag Heuer) for the pleasantly surprised Felicia, while pleading for Bryan through SMS to “grant her her dream date”.

*Cue : Ping Hui leaving the restaurant with his heart in two*

My Verdict :

Now somebody pleeeeeeeeeeze explain this to me.

Boy meets girl. And girl goes for …the Gay guy.

Hello?????  There was even a scene where the baffled Rui En (she’s their sister) even asked Felicia why she would go for Mr Savvy rather than the grunt.

Felicia’s answer? “Personality clash, too quiet for her own taste, and…she relish a challenge!”

At that moment of time, I nearly fell over from the chair.

I truly believe, the only reason why girls go for the gay guy is simply ‘cos women love to change a guy. And what better challenge to the woman than to ‘revert’ a homosexual back to a straight guy through the power of her…pu..erm..love.

All I can say is.. Good luck to your ‘mission’, woman, you’ll need it.

Before I end this rant,  I must give commendations to Ping Hui’s portrayal of being the lovefool.  His awkward expressions in the presence of Felicia is really spot-on.  But the real surprise here is Bryan’s straight faced performance.  Gone are the snappy bitchy tones you see of his normal self, and instead, we get this super cool successful business dude. Heck, even I would have thought the man was straight.

And by the way, can somebody tell me when in the world did Felicia become such a hot babe? Now there wasn’t one scene in the 20 odd minutes where we have Felicia in uniform, so don’t go telling me its her in the no.3 / no.4.

Wow. It is really amazing how much changes a good hairdo can do to a person.  One day she was this skinny underweight girl with really bad mushroom hairdo and now, she’s this super and matured hot WOMAN in SAF outfit.

Y-U-M-M-Y.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I am in the mood for some Vitagen.

After learning that Paris Hilton is losing her inheritance money, I couldn’t help but pen this entry in defence of the poor little rich girl

WHAT??!!?! Lose 60 million bucks over her jail term!?!?!, Uncle…now this is truly uncalled for.  What “crime” did Paris really commit?  Poor girl’s already served her time for her crime. And besides…we’ve forgiven her for her previous “crimes” what.

  • so, she did the racy FHM Shoot – Nicky was there too..hello!?! And did she get any blame? NOooo….
  • One Nite in Paris – it’s her bastard of a boyfriend who sold it. duh! Besides, its way better than the one Pam and Tommy Lee did !! (So I heard…)
  • House of Wax – ok, no excuses for her on this one.
  • ‘Stars Are Blind’ – Hey, the song was #1 in great countries like Belgium, Slovakia and Hungary, okay!?

So, Paris Dah-ling, wipe away those tears, Uncle Golliz here dedicate one his favourite songs to Grampa Hilton:

Stop wasting my time
You know what I want
You know what I need
Or maybe you don’t
Do I have to come right
Flat out and tell you everything?
Gimme some money
Gimme sone money

I’m nobody’s fool
I’m nobody’s clown
I’m treating you cool
I’m putting you down
But baby I don’t intend to leave empty handed
Gimme some money
Gimme some money

Don’t get me wrong
Try getting me right
Your face is ok but your purse is too tight
I’m looking for pound notes
Loose change
Bad checks, anything
Gimme some money
Gimme some money

Trust me, with all these honesty spewed out into the open, in no time, Grampa is gonna appreciate your honesty and run back to you to shower you with money and kisses again.

‘Cos forgiveness is divine, and baby, that is always HOT.

This has gotta be one of the coolest product I have came across thats related to the anime, Neon Genesis Evangelion!

Damn shame, that I’ve no idea whether it is actually for sale (not that I can afford it) But check out the coolness of this fine looking … plate.

freakyEva fans would have definitely noticed that the fork (away from picture) is actually a replica of the ‘Longinus Spear’ used in the anime itself, oh and note that both of her hands were actually pierced as well. So…cute!!!

(Alright, now I understand why my friend says I’ve a warped sense of humour.)

More pictures to come … *fingers crossed*

 

 

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