Downing’s ex is going to dress as a fullback to prevent her from being beaten.

He’s apparently assisting Police, his first of the season

He smashed her over the bar.

Don’t make Downing cross. It never ends well.

At least they’re not Santorum jokes, tsk tsk.

“Arsenal have been dealing with the 8-2 jokes 4-3 weeks now!”

I hope things pick up soon for the Goons, if only because I’m not sure how much more wit like this I can take.

To follow up on the Adebayor goofiness, Spurs fans find themselves in a busy quandary having to amend THAT elephant song they sing about him due to his Arse affliation. Some of the..erm, suggestions so far for newer editions:

Adebayor, Adebayoooor
Your dads an accountant,
Your mum studies law

Adebayor, Adebayor
If you get on a bus with him,
stay near the door

Adebayor, Adebayor,
your parents are ok
as long as you score

Adebayor, Adebayooor
He’s seen Arsene Wenger
Touch Wilshere’s back dooooor!

Adebayor, Adebayoooooor,
your dad watches elephant….
documentaries on ITV4

His dad heals sick elephants,
And his mum’s got a new job

Adebayor
Adebayor

He stamped a rapist
And slid on the floor

Adebayor,
Adebayooooo-or,

We’ll wash the elephant
As long as you score

Adebayoooor, Adebayooooor
He scores for Spurs
and gets paid by Mansooooour